I am 24 years old. (No need to remind me that in 7 months I will be a quarter of a century).
I was married at 21.
I was 23 when my daughter was born.
I am a stay a home mom and I love it.
I do not have a college degree. I do not care.
I don’t regret a thing.
I got married before I finished college. I had a baby shortly after. I bought a house before I ever had a full time job. I became a stay at home mom and I am still not in college. I think my life, by the world’s standards, would be considered “backwards”. But let me tell you, I am so glad I don’t live my life according to the world. I am so glad I live by God’s standards and His standards alone. I am pretty sure the Bible doesn’t mention anything about what degree I need to have before I get married, or what age is too young to tie the knot, because back then, they were teenagers when they wed. It also doesn’t say how long we need to be married before we have a child. He did give us Adelynn on His time, after all!
I had every intention of going to school this semester. I really did. I have this master plan in mind and it’s not going how I thought. But I have to be honest. My master plan sucks. To be clear, it’s not because I suck at planning, because I am darn good at planning. But it sucks because of my intentions of control over my life. I am spending all this time planning my life and not trusting God with it. I planned to be in school this semester and God chose another path for me.
And you know what?
He is always right.
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. – Jeremiah 29:11
If I was in school right now I can envision my life and I would be miserable. I would have to tell Adelynn to “go read a book” or “go play” or set her in front of the tv because “Mommy is busy”. I would send her away several times each day. Really, why would I do something like that to her when my heart isn’t in what I am doing anyway? That would break my heart, but how would that make her feel? Would I be modeling Christ to her if I always told her I was “too busy” to do things with her? Is God ever too busy for us? I understand that in going to school I would be bettering myself. And I plan to do so, but right now, this time is for us. For her. For me. For our family.
So what am I supposed be doing with my life? Exactly what I am doing now.
Where am I supposed to be? Exactly where I am now. No question about it.
Thank you Kate for talking to me tonight and helping me see so clearly. I can’t tell you how settled I finally feel, and I didn’t even realize how unsettled I was in the first place.
Thank you everyone for your unconditional love and support over the last 3 amazing years of my life. Thank you all for understanding that we are doing what is best for us, and what is best for you and what is best for me might be completely different things, and I respect you for your decisions as well. Thank you for respecting me for who I am and the choices I make.
I am taking care of my family, and modeling Jesus to my daughter. There is nothing more important I can do.
I am doing my best for you. I love you so much, Adelynn Faith.