This will be my last week of Mommy-isms, so it’s a longer list than usual. There’s a surprise in store for next week, so keep your eyes peeled!
You know you’re a Mom when…
1. There is a half-eaten, squashed piece of breakfast bar in your purse pocket.
2. You can’t remember the last time you had a whole cup of hot coffee.
3. No matter how decisive you are in the real world, you will second-guess yourself constantly as a mother.
4. You leave the house in mismatched flip flops because your daughter put them on you and you forgot to change.
5. You pack for an army when you leave the house. You have to have enough stuff to keep little one fed, busy, distracted and quiet.
6. You used to be given gifts like candles, lotions and flowers. Now the gifts you’re given most often are mushed up crackers, dead leaves and trash.
7. You give up on trying to play in the pool and managing to keep your hair dry.
8. At any given moment, you’re most likely carrying the remains of yucky items from a child’s mouth or nose.
9. You will shed your pregnancy weight, but you will never feel the same about yourself… and I mean that in a good way.
10. You have to pull the car over because your daughter took her shoe off and managed to get her finger stuck in a hole in the shoe. You have to get her unstuck, calm her down and kiss her “ow” just so you can finish the 5 minute drive home in peace. (FYI the hole in the shoe is supposed to be there.)
11. You will never again read a newspaper without asking, “What if that had been MY child?”
12. You mutter things under your breath like: “I’m never doing this again.”, “Why didn’t I have someone come with me?”, “I don’t know how that got there.”, “Didn’t I just clean this up?”
13. Your relationship with your husband has changed for the better. You’ve fallen in love with him all over again.
14. You never imagined you would have such weird purse contents. A bag of Cheerios, a soggy piece of bagel, baby Tylenol, a sandy pacifier… who knew?
15. The longest book you have read in the last year is “Good Night Moon”
16. You have come to wear your c-section scar and/or stretch marks with pride.
17. You’ve almost forgotten your own name. You refer to yourself as “Mommy” and answer to “Mama!” or “WAAAHH”.
18. The only movies you have seen lately are Tinkerbell and Oliver & Company. When you hear Billy Joel, you used to think of Piano Man, now you think of Dodger.
19. You consider it a “good day” when you get through breakfast without getting any oatmeal on the wall. On those days, you believe you are unstoppable.
20. You look forward to the years to come. Not to accomplish your own dreams, but to watch your child accomplish hers.