1. You know better than to wear your favorite clothes around the house. If it isn’t something kid related – it’s bleach.
2. You’ve learned that if you want to pee in peace, you sneak off to the far bathroom. That way when she finds you, you’re done. (I’m aware that this is slightly mean)
3. You’re the only person you know who speeds up when you see traffic stopped at a train – just so your daughter can see it.
4. You recently learned that painting a mirror with a wet toothbrush is actually art.
5. You’re on the phone when you notice your child being suspiciously quiet. When you find her, the glass front door is decorated in blue crayon. She runs when you get there, only to return with a pink crayon to finish the job. When you talk to her about coloring on paper, she gets a towel to help clean it off and you do the job together 🙂
6. Your hands ache so bad from hanging onto the swing in such a way that your child can snuggle into your neck and giggle as you swing together. Nothing beats beautiful blue eyes staring into yours and a precious smiling face being so close.
7. You go to the store for a couple of things for yourself and end up with a few things for your kid and nothing for yourself.
8. You find out your child’s diaper leaked because when you take your child off your hip, you’re the one who is wet.
9. You know better to take an uncovered cup along to the backyard sandbox.
10. You believe the whole store sees it when your daughter drops the bag of fresh fish and it splits open on the grocery store floor… and your peep toe shoes.
11. Also, it’s exciting to get to wear fancy shoes to the grocery store.
12. You get BBQ sauce in your hair because your daughter decided she needed to brush your bangs out of your face during dinner.
13. You’re that embarrassed Mom chasing her kid down the sidewalk because she doesn’t listen when you say “Stop!”
14. You’re a pro at back seat or standing up diaper changes.
15. You’re jealous when you put sunscreen on your already sandy kid – because she gets both sun protection AND exfoliation!