When it comes to the girls and I getting out during the day, and when it comes to evenings as a family, I schedule down time for us. Weird, right? 🙂
I am learning to just say no. I am learning that being too busy is hard on us and it’s just not worth it. This is an area of my life where some of my introverted tendencies come in handy! We have 1-2 days a week where we don’t plan anything. We all benefit from being home and intentionally spending the day playing and doing things around the house. Both girls also benefit from the days off. Their quiet time is very beneficial to them every afternoon, so a break in the week is also nice.
It helps me as a mom to work on intentionality. If I were to do laundry on busier days, instead of asking them to help me, I would find it easier to just do myself. When we have a nice and slow day, I can take the time and ask them to pitch in. They almost always get excited to help, or offer to help before I can ask.
These days are the easiest ones to be that “yes” mom. I know there aren’t any time constraints. It’s the same with other tasks that are often messy/time consuming. Like baking cupcakes or digging out the paint. Those are the days where I can breathe and do those fun things without being rushed or stressed. If they don’t get dressed or brush their hair until noon, who cares? If they want to play games and color for long periods of time, I have the time to join them. I never have to say “We don’t have time.” I hate saying that.
I want to encourage you all to continue being patient with and investing in your kids. Spend time with them. But don’t beat yourself up when you don’t! Sometimes you do have to say that we don’t have time for things because there are other messes to be cleaned up before we have to go to the next thing. And that’s a teaching moment too.
So block out the time if you want to. Play with them. He didn’t give them to us for us to ignore them. In fact, He gave them a hope and a future and WE get to help equip them for it!! Holy cow. That’s a big task. I’m thankful He has equipped us to equip them.
So give to them selflessly. Give them time, patience and joy. Make those cookies and set aside the time to lick the beaters.
Am I perfect at it? Do I always get as much down time in as I want? Do I always accomplish everything I set out to accomplish on that day? Absolutely not! Sometimes we receive and accept invitations to go out – if that’s more necessary that day. Sometimes that has to be the day we schedule appointments. Sometimes the girls playing for that long together just backfires and we watch a movie instead.
And you know what? It is OKAY. You WILL mess up. You probably already messed up today if I had to guess. But when you’re filled with Jesus – hurt, shame and guilt have no place. So you can get over that real quick 🙂
If you are struggling now, remember it won’t be like this for long. This time with them is the blink of an eye in eternity. We have the biggest job and it’s no small feat.
They won’t remember the mistakes. They won’t remember everything you did. Just the important things.
You’re doing well! You’ve got this, mama!