Several nights I have gone to sleep thinking “I didn’t accomplish anything today.”
I have felt very unproductive lately. I think there is a thick layer of dust or crumbs on every square inch of my house! I literally had to wipe down the stove before I could cook on it the other day…
Dave has been travelling quite a bit over the past several months. That leaves me with a messier house and messier kids. I think they are statistically taking fewer baths right now; but they are also emotionally messier because their lives aren’t the norm. Emotions have been running high and patience has been running thin.
I go to bed and I look around my room at the clean clothes that need to be hung up. I sit around after the kids are in bed and I just want to be on the couch with my book instead of doing the dishes. The dishes will still be there tomorrow. Well, so will my book, I suppose, but my sanity might not be if I chose the dishes over the book. Really when I think that I didn’t accomplish anything during the day… that’s not the truth.
The truth is that my kids are fed, warm, healthy, educated and cozy under their clean sheets. It’s a joke that sometimes you did accomplish something because you kept the kids alive. But it’s also completely true! Those kids who go to you when they have bad dreams, the ones who want those extra drinks and kisses and being tucked in again when you are beyond done. Those kids who are “hungry” or need another light on, another story, or suddenly have an owie. Those kids are choosing you at the end of the day. At the end of the day where you think you failed. Those kids can only be comforted and reassured by you. Even if the day is over and you still have piles of laundry and you didn’t read the book to the kid you promised you would read to. Or you didn’t dress the Barbie you promised you would dress after dinner.
They will ask again tomorrow. The laundry piles will be a little taller tomorrow because your kids went to bed feeling loved and they woke up again feeling loved and they spilled their breakfast on their jammies! They filled their tummies, they created more dishes and more laundry and the cycle started over again.
Except on this morning you can dress that Barbie. You can read that book. And you can look at that laundry pile or mountain of dirty dishes and think you didn’t accomplish anything. Or you can look at a face that is sticky with pancake syrup and smile because you fed her. You dressed that Barbie she is playing with. You made her day. You accomplished something. You accomplished a lot. I’d even venture to say that you accomplished everything.