It’s so cool how God has wired us for human connection and for community. I spoke to two different moms the other night about the need for human interaction. The interesting part was that they both brought the subject up to me! I spent several hours over dinner with one of my mom friends, and we talked about this season we are in. How it’s only a season – a short one that we will miss – and yet it feels like it drags on forever.
We talked about a lot of the ins and outs of motherhood. We talked about how we crave adult interaction to do our job better. It’s not that our kids aren’t enough for us, but we are happier when we get adult interaction and maintain relationships because we were created for it. Literally on my way home from that dinner, another friend sent me a voice message that detailed some of the same things about this season and how she just needed to tell someone who understood: sleepless nights, kids are sick, having bad dreams, wanting to be in mom’s bed, etc. Our kids seem to think the same thing about being close, about having connection, a community. It’s interesting that God hasn’t only wired adults that way.
We are busy so we think other people are busy too. Too busy for us. So we don’t text or call. We think their calendars and jam-packed full like ours are. So we think we are all too busy to call. But please call. We will find time for you. For adult interaction. For letting the kids run off their pent up energy.
Saying yes to spending time together is time well spent. We welcome that text and the conversation.
So maybe you invite us to the park and we don’t actually read it until the next day and we missed it. But you thought of us. You took one selfless minute to reach out. That minute of being thought of is awesome. You invite us into your mess? Even better. I’ll bring my kid with the shoes on the wrong feet and the same Owlette costume she has worn for days. And I’ll bring those muffins I made for something else that we couldn’t go to because we had a sick kid. And you’ll feed us the leftover dessert from your event the other night and no one will care because we are doing life together! Exactly what we were made for! We are having adult conversation and creating more memories and more messes. We are letting the kids get some of their creativity out, we are bouncing ideas off of each other and talking about the hard things that we were created to do.
(This is better than the Pinterest surfing we could be doing while we compare our messy house to those Joanna Gaines style farmhouses and eat our dried out cookies from the recipe that is classified as a Pinterest fail.)
We try to have a conversation mixed in with taking turns nuking our coffee and speaking to our kids about sharing and fishing Barbie shoes out of the littles’ mouths. We say a lot of “Um… I don’t remember what I was saying.” We might make macaroni and let the kids watch a movie. We stop to change diapers and feed babies. But we are getting adult interaction. We are low on sleep and we are doing it together.
And it’s all because you took 2 seconds to send a text and did no other preparation. You were cleaning our your hall closet and got interrupted and that’s why there are winter coats on your couch and hallway floor when it’s 70*? I didn’t even notice. You don’t have to explain it! Just because we have different weird messes doesn’t mean that we don’t both have weird messes. No shame here.
Please feel free to share your mess with me.
My encouragement is this: take 2 seconds to send that text and invite your friends over for a box of processed starch and powdered cheese. (Although you won’t be mad if she picks up sushi on her way over). Let your kids share the screen time with someone else. Make someone’s day by inviting them into your chaos so you can celebrate this season together. This short season where we can’t give up on our need for connection.